Phoenix, AZ — A local Phoenix man is a hero today after he single-handedly stopped a couple who were attempting to rob a coffee shop. His quick thinking saved the day according to restaurant manager Andy Steinberg.
“He just started quoting movie lines from Pulp Fiction. The robbers kind of went berserk and then they just left.”
Local hero, 37-year-old Paul Horner, who thwarted the would-be robbers told reporters how he saved the day.
“It was really lucky that I had my wallet with me that said bad motherf*cker on it. The robbers came around demanding everybody’s wallet and I just held it up, you know like how Samuel L. Jackson did in Pulp Fiction.”
Longtime diner Sarah Bradley told CBS News it was a pretty tense situation.
“The robbers asked Mr. Horner what was in his hand. He told them it was his wallet that said ‘bad motherf*cker’ on it. I’ve never seen the movie so I didn’t know what he was talking about. I just thought he was some crazy white guy with a death wish.”
Horner continued, “After I said the comment about my wallet the robbers started freaking out. So then in my best tough black guy voice I said to them: Normally, both your asses would be dead as f*cking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this sh*t while I’m in a transitional period so I don’t wanna kill you, I wanna help you,” Horner said. “Then the robbers looked at each other and then just ran out of the restaurant. I knew my vast knowledge of Pulp Fiction would pay off for me one day.”
Steinberg told local news station ABC 15 he was concerned about the health of Mr. Horner after the robbers had left and everyone at the restaurant was waiting for police to arrive.
“It seemed like Mr. Horner’s brain had snapped. I asked him if he was OK and he shouted, ‘Shut the f*ck up fat man! This ain’t none of your go*damn business’. Then I apologized and told him that I think the cops are on their way to which he responded, ‘I don’t wanna hear about no motherf*ckin’ ifs. All I wanna hear from your ass is, you ain’t got no problem, Paul. I’m on the motherf*cker. Go back in there, chill them n*ggas out and wait for the cavalry which should be coming directly’. Then he started asking me questions about our food menu. He asked me about our hamburgers and if I knew what they called a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France? It was really weird, but hey, he’s a hero I guess.”
“In every other parallel universe this man would be shot and killed but not today,” Officer Tom Downey from the Phoenix Police Department said. “It’s fortunate that this city has a person like Mr. Horner living in it. If he hadn’t had so much free time on his hands he never would have been able to quote so many lines from Pulp Fiction. Down time is the real hero here today.”
The robbers are described as a white male and female aged 35-45. If you have any information please contact Inspector Phelps at (785) 273-0325. As always you can remain anonymous.