Christian Anti-Masturbation’s Mascot “Fappy” Arrested For Public Masturbation While Swimming Naked With The Dolphins At Sea World In San Diego

Fappy arrested at Sea World in San Diego
Fappy arrested at Sea World

Paul Horner, AKA ‘Fappy’, seen here, was arrested today at Sea World in San Diego for masturbating in public. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP


San Diego, CA — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested today for masturbating in public. The mascot, along with his organization, Stop Masturbation Now, recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which they claim focused on educating children about the dangers and consequences of masturbation.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, whose real name is 37-year-old Paul Horner, was arrested at Sea World after employees notified police about a man swimming in the dolphin tank with nothing on except a dolphin mascot head.

Tom Downey with the San Diego Police Department, who took Horner into custody, spoke with local news station KNSD about the arrest.

“We thought at first he was possibly intoxicated or mentally unstable, ya know, talking about children and how deadly it is for them to masturbate. Telling us he was at the park with a Christian organization speaking to children about the dangers of masturbation. Saying things like, ‘They need to stop playing on the Devil’s playground, stop pounding their Devil stick and ringing the Devil’s doorbell’, we thought he was insane,” Downey said. “Turns out he actually was with this anti-masturbation organization who were accompanying a group of 3rd graders around the park when Horner left the children to swim with the dolphins and masturbate. We further learned that Mr. Horner has three previous arrests for public masturbation, all while employed by this Christian organization who goes by the name of Stop Masturbation Now.”

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of Stop Masturbation Now spoke with reporters about the future of the organization after this recent setback.



“Thanks to your tax dollars, Fappy has helped tens of thousands of children learn to live a masturbation-free lifestyle. During his countless visits to schools around the world, Fappy has collected thousands of signatures from children promising to never masturbate; he has done amazing things,” Childs said. “It is a shame how the media is portraying Fappy right now. Paul Horner is a great man. He is passionate about his work, he loves being Fappy and he especially loves the kids. They even have a nickname for him; they call him the tickle monster. But now, all of that is possibly ruined by some trumped-up charges by the San Diego five-oh, such a shame.” Childs continued, “These lies about Fappy sicken me to my very core. The security guards who “observed” the crime in question need to be investigated. What is their motive? Are they masturbators? Are they agents of Big Masturbation? What are their crimes? These are the questions that must be addressed. Furthermore, we have found that, over the years, the only thing that Fappy “beats” are all the fraudulent charges brought against him. I have activated my prayer app and I ask each and every one of you to keep Fappy in your prayers until this misunderstanding is resolved.”

40-year-old Phil Freedom, who was visiting the park with his two boys, witnessed the act in question.

“This man was just standing there naked, furiously masturbating, and staring through the glass at those dolphins with so much anger. He then climbed into the water with only a dolphin’s mascot head on and began attempting to hump those innocent porpoises. It was absolutely horrifying.”

On the group’s Facebook page, news was posted of the arrest.

All my faithful Fappy followers, I have some extremely bad news to report. I want you to hear it here first before the liberal media hate machine spreads their lies about the incident. Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, whose real name is Paul Horner, was arrested today outside of Sea World by the San Diego Police Department. Our lawyers tell us he is being charged with public masturbation, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. He is currently being held at the San Diego Central Jail until a bond is set by a judge, this happening hopefully soon. Please don’t jump to any conclusions about this until we have all the evidence. Please keep Fappy in your prayers during this difficult time.

Horner’s attorney, Pattie Smith, told CBS News the dolphin mascot will try and prevent masturbation in prison if found guilty.

“Horner is in good spirits and patiently waiting to see a judge for his bond hearing,” Smith said. “Horner told me he is innocent, but if found guilty, says he will put an end to inmate masturbation in every jail and prison across the country, starting with the one he may be serving time at. I personally was not aware of this information about the penal system, but it seems jail is just a hotbed for self-rape and immoral acts. Horner is a hero, a prophet, and a savior to all the lost heathenish souls out there with deadly masturbation addictions.” Smith continued, “This may be his fourth arrest for masturbating in public, but so far Horner has never been convicted. Luckily our federally funded organization has lots of connections in Washington, plus, of course he is innocent. All I can ask is that you please keep Fappy in your prayers during these difficult times.”

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and Stop Masturbation Now are federally funded programs designed to teach children about the dangers and consequences of masturbation. For more information or if you would like the group to visit your child’s school call (785) 273-0325.







82 Comments
  1. Angel 1 year ago

    This is so outrageous… and my tax dollars fund this federally funded organization?!! I’m calling my senator tomorrow!

    • chris 1 year ago

      Ikr

    • bandit, Albuquerque 12 months ago

      this is a FAKE website – this is NOT REAL

      However, if you follow the various links, they belong to the same guy who is a RABID JEW HATER.

      Better to just ignore this guy.

  2. Ben Allen 1 year ago

    How has this dolphin mascot not been fired yet?

    • dandilyon 1 year ago

      How has this organization managed to get federal funding or even exist?! What’s next from these disgusting people?

  3. Angel 1 year ago

    This is outrageous. How is this not The Onion? Or South Park for that matter.

  4. Sce 1 year ago

    There’s nothing wrong with masturbation! It’s healthy! If any of these goddamn crazies come near my kid, I’ll split their damn head open!

    • Dan McConnell 1 year ago

      With which hand?

    • Palo 1 year ago

      What are they worried about? Wonder if they think one can wear it out. It won’t happen. Trust me on this one.

    • Andy 1 year ago

      You might want to re-phrase that Sce, but I applaud your sentiment nonetheless.

    • John Smith 1 year ago

      Which head?

  5. Jan 1 year ago

    I just called my senator and reported this. How horrible that my tax dollars are funding this nonsense!

    • Bob Rock 1 year ago

      I called my senator!

  6. Nope 1 year ago

    This is the funniest thing I have ever read

    • Nope 2 1 year ago

      This is the funniest comment I have read.

    • Jeremiah 1 year ago

      Yes! It is. Oh my God!

    • Dandy Lion 1 year ago

      Me too.. Tee hee..

  7. Wes 1 year ago

    The only thing that will prevent masturbation is hard work. It keeps young men busy and builds calluses that makes the act most uncomfortable.

    • Marcwolf 4 months ago

      “Plus circumcision – that stops it. Best done without pain relieve so to remind you of the agony you had to endure.”
      Mr Kellogg – mid 1920’s

  8. bandit 1 year ago

    Let’s see how well he does in prison. I predict not well.

    • Garrett Kam 1 year ago

      he’ll be raped in prison, so no self-rape will occur

      • Jude Mathis 1 year ago

        correct…hahaha

  9. Michael Lassell 1 year ago

    These people are all insane.

  10. Mike 1 year ago

    About time! Did you repreddnt her?

  11. Frank 1 year ago

    This is the most hilarious article I’ve read in a long time. This definitely deserves to be a south park episode!

    • Laurel Kaskurs 1 year ago

      It is a South Park episode ! The island of misfit mascotts with Sexual Harrassment Panda !

  12. Fappy 1 year ago

    That is Irony at its best. The name of the mascot is also ‘Fappy’. Hilarious.

  13. Moises 1 year ago

    I don’t find it strange, this is typical of the so called “Christian” organizations.

    If you want to lose faith, follow a Christian’s steps.

  14. Denzel Washington 1 year ago

    The penile system would have been an appropriate typo

    • Ed Brotherton 12 months ago

      I wonder which PENAL code he violated.

  15. Greg 1 year ago

    3rd graders?
    Someone talking to a group of 3rd graders about masturbation should be registered as a sex offender.
    It is up to the PARENTS to gauge when their children need “the talk”
    This guy should be locked away, as well as the other members of their organization.
    Honestly… if my 3rd grader came home with a bunch of questions about masturbation that they learned from some guy in a dolphin costume, I’d be on the WAR PATH.

    • ronee 1 year ago

      Greg, I agree with you!!!

  16. Carlos Danger 1 year ago

    Rest assured brothers and sisters in Lonnie, a movement has been started within Stop Masturbation NOW to remove this heretic from our fine organization. I mean who goes to Sea World after seeing “Blackfish”? It is unconscionable. Please Brother Lonnie, hear my prayers!

    http://stopmasturbationnow.org/uncategorized/paul-horner-aka-fappy-the-anti-masturbation-dolphin-must-go-now/

  17. Jerry 1 year ago

    Why don’t Christians want people to masturbate? I am totally beside myself on this one. Why are these people, Christians as so against the acts of nature. To me they are saying they are ashamed of God and they wish that God hadn’t made man and woman to act out what He has created. I m so glad that I do not adhere to the Christian belief. Masturbation is a act of nature and not the act of man; which can not be controlled by man.

    • Russian Retard 1 year ago

      > Masturbation is a act of nature and not the act of man; which can not be controlled by man.
      EXACTLY! Just like killing… killing for food.. killing people for food..
      PS masturbation is fine. did it to point out problems with your logic and just for lulz ofc.

  18. autumn 1 year ago

    hahaha go dolfin he should get a raise

    • Garrett Kam 1 year ago

      hahaha, his cock already got a raise many times in public, or should I say pubic? he’ll have fun being raped in the penal system, or penile system, so he can’t raise the issue of self-rape or masturbation

      Besides, what a appropriate choice of mascots, as dolphins love to masturbate against each other, rocks (known as getting their rocks off), dead fish, etc.

      http://www.gizmodo.co.uk/2015/08/9-animals-that-masturbate-other-than-humans/

  19. Michael McIlwrath 1 year ago

    This is crazy..asking kids not to masturbate…lol is this a joke?

    • ronee 1 year ago

      Yes

  20. Meleah 1 year ago

    Masturbation is not “deadly”. The administrators at that school are just saying that to prevent masturbation…. it’s actually quite healthy an normal for teens and men. They just shouldn’t do it so much. They’re is no “consequences” or “dangers” to masturbation. YOU people need education then, because you clearly don’t know your facts and answers. If you’re doing this for the money as to a stupid idea, its not right. COMPLETELY. NORMAL.

    • Gabby 1 year ago

      There*

    • Melissa 1 year ago

      Um, masturbation is normal for many, many species, including all genders of humans. Not just teens and men.

  21. Dave Turnbole 1 year ago

    The dangers of masturbation: Ejaculation, orgasm, some hideous dolphin taking pictures of you.

  22. steveo 1 year ago

    I can’t believe there are really schools that would allow this christian crew into their facilities ? this is so many shades of fucked up

  23. Dustin 1 year ago

    It’s sad CBS is reporting on it

  24. Happy Ending 1 year ago

    Good riddance to Fappy. Fwap, Fwap, Fwap.

  25. Amazed 1 year ago

    Masturbation harmless? Yeah right!

  26. Heatheranne Allen 1 year ago

    Our Tax Dollars are going to this Organization, REALLY? WTF?
    Fappy has been Arrested 4x for PUBLIC MASTURBATION…NOW that is Hysterical!!! LOL!!!
    This Organization ‘Teaches’ the Dangers & Consequences of Masturbation. WHAT DANGERS & CONSEQUENCES …Carpal Tunnel & Sticky Hands? Again WTF?
    I am a Christian and believe in God, BUT NEVER would I Push my Beliefs on someone else.
    Extreme God Fearing People are what give the rest of us ‘Normal’ Christians a Bad Name…
    Well, apparently these “AntiMasturbators” need to either…
    1. Get Laid OR
    2. MASTURBATE & Loosen the F’ Up!!!
    I CAN’T BELIEVE this is actually REAL & How have they NOT done a Skit about it on SNL???
    IDIOTS,Some people REALLY Need to get Lives!!!
    Dangers
    Consequences
    Devils Playground
    and My FAVORITE…
    Devil Stick…LMFAO!!!

    • Luv It 1 year ago

      I think this guy needs a good woman to teach him about the joys of oral sex without using her hands.

  27. Reta Krukowski 1 year ago

    This kind of sick crap is what turns kids into a Josh Duggar type.

  28. Steve 1 year ago

    What a flipping wanker…

  29. Dick York 1 year ago

    He should be publicly flogged!

  30. Brian reynoldd 1 year ago

    There have to rename the mascot lol

    I think slappy would work🤒😇

    • Garrett Kam 1 year ago

      how about Whacky? And besides, porpoises love to masturbate by rubbing themselves against smooth rocks underwater. Great mascot!

    • Wendy 1 year ago

      How is that better than Fappy? It doesn’t even refer to masturbation.

  31. Julia Emerald 1 year ago

    Excuse me, FEDERALLY funded?
    The CDC’s stance is that masturbation is healthy and all the scientific research points to its benefits and health. There are no dangers and our government claims to not align with any religions so I am trying to understand why this government is finding stuff like this!! I’m pissed

  32. Wanker 1 year ago

    Leave him alone, he didn’t do it on Porpoise.

  33. Leanne 1 year ago

    Yeah Fappy will be a big hit in jail!! Isn’t third grade a bit young to have the masturbation talk – there 9 years old. Maybe they can get Bappy the banana to take his place!

  34. Jo Dorlando 1 year ago

    This is totally ridiculous….anti-masturbation. I guess the government wants to secure a few thousand “federal programs” that “care” for single mothers and their children

  35. Jim Harrison 1 year ago

    Reminds me of the old news item: Surveys show that 90% of teenage boys masturbate while 10% lie about it.

  36. Joe Docker 1 year ago

    Wow, thats completely insantiy, some people are really crazy unbelievable !

  37. Christine Servis 1 year ago

    This is the most insanely funniest thing I saw today! THANK YOU!

  38. Mom 1 year ago

    Anti- masturbation? What’s the alternative?

  39. ProperlyBeaten 1 year ago

    It all cums out one way or another. Look at it this way:

    You have to take a dump (#2), and you walk into Walmart.
    You could ask the greeter where the bathroom is, and take care of it. Or,
    you could wait until you are in the checkout line, and BAMM! You just dumped in your pants.

    That’s why masturbation is better.

  40. Is he related to “Flipper”, the famous Dolphin?

    • Jerry 1 year ago

      Hey everybody, I’ve been reading your comments and I enjoy really all responses. However, it seems as though most of the responders seems to think that it’s boys that masterbates, when we ll know that women/girls like to masterbate too. So in our response to this article we need to include young girls/ women,

  41. Jamie James 1 year ago

    The most shocking sentence in this story is the last one: “…if you would like the group to visit your child’s school call (785) 273-0325.” What the hell is CBS News doing promoting this group? After the story they have just reported, the vast majority of readers and viewers would be far more motivated to keep this gang of deluded fanatics OUT of their children’s schools! The phone number of this group IS NOT NEWS. It makes you appear
    utterly ridiculous.

    • Wendy 1 year ago

      Praise Fappy!

  42. Gabe 1 year ago

    HAHA! I can’t stop laughing at the article. I got to talk about it on my website.

  43. Gabe 1 year ago

    funny article.

  44. E Myers 1 year ago

    Awesome!!!

  45. Fappy 1 year ago

    I can’t stop masturbating to all these comments!

    *fap fap fap fap fap!

    • larry 1 year ago

      so gooood! i am jeezing on my screen non-stop

  46. dean 1 year ago

    I love you all!

  47. vonahujax 12 months ago

    Why the fuss? Mascots also need to reproduce.

    • cadi 12 months ago

      This is not how you do reproduce.

      • vonahujax 12 months ago

        That’s the problem with christians.

  48. ady 12 months ago

    fucking inbred retards

  49. Flipper 11 months ago

    Fappy got excited when he was surrounded with so many nice looking blowholes.

  50. Anna T 11 months ago

    Oh Fappy smh

  51. dejoiondra 10 months ago

    dem niggas be crazy

  52. russian girl chat 5 months ago

    Praise Fappy!

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Copyright 2016 | All Rights Reserved | Powered by HITTEKK | Proudly owned by CBS News President & CEO, Dr. Paul Horner. We need writers! Contact us! Looking to advertise? Contact us! All trademarks, service marks, trade names, trade dress, product names, images and logos appearing on the site are the property of their respective owners. | Do you have a complaint? We love to hear them! You can call our complaint department directly at (785) 273-0325 | Do you have a problem with self-rape? Are you looking to get off the Devil's playground? Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin can help! Praise Fappy!

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