Author Archive for: Jimmy Rustling, CBS News

Donald Trump’s Campaign Website Hacked – WARNING: Graphic Content

Donald Trump's Campaign Website Hacked - WARNING: Graphic Content

Washington, DC — Donald Trump’s presidential campaign website, DonaldJTrump.com, was hacked this morning and as of this press release the site is still showing an alternate version. That alternate version is a parody of a popular meme known as the Lemon Party. It is not clear what group or...

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Donald Trump Introduces ‘Nazi-Like’ Plan Requiring All Muslims & Refugees To Wear Badges

Donald Trump Muslim Refugee badges

Washington, DC — After calling for a ban on all Muslims attempting to enter the United States, the Republican presidential front-runner went one step further. During an interview today with Fox News, Donald Trump unveiled plans making it mandatory for all Muslim people and refugees currently residing in the...

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Donald Trump Assaults Blind Man After Rally In Ohio

Donald Trump punches blind man

Columbus, OH — At a rally in Columbus, Ohio today, over a dozen witnesses say they saw Donald Trump punch an elderly blind man in the face. The alleged assault occurred as Trump was leaving The Greater Columbus Convention Center after a speech the presidential candidate had given to...

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Dennis Rodman Flies Out Of The Country To Talk With Leaders Of ISIS

Dennis Rodman to speak with leaders of ISIS

Los Angeles, CA — With only a handful of reporters present at the Los Angeles International Airport, Dennis Rodman announced his intentions to speak with the leaders of ISIS, before boarding a plane to Syria. “I know a lot of people won’t understand what I’m doing, but it’s my...

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School Fires Teacher After Saying Merry Christmas To Atheist Student

School suspends student for saying Merry Christmas

San Francisco, CA — The ‘War on Christmas’ continues as a simple well-wishing of ‘Merry Christmas’ has led to the termination of a third-grade teacher in San Francisco, California. 37-year-old Paul Horner, who had been a teacher at Westview Elementary School for 15 years and had no prior disciplinary...

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Phoenix Man Stops Robbery By Quoting Pulp Fiction

Pulp Fiction robbery

Phoenix, AZ — A local Phoenix man is a hero today after he single-handedly stopped a couple who were attempting to rob a coffee shop. His quick thinking saved the day according to restaurant manager Andy Steinberg. “He just started quoting movie lines from Pulp Fiction. The robbers kind...

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ISIS Denies Responsibility for San Bernardino Shooting

ISIS denies san bernardino shooting

San Bernardino, CA — Following the tragic attack in San Bernardino that left 14 people killed and another 21 wounded, ISIS’s Military Council has issued a statement denying any connection with the fatal shooting. The leader of the Military Council, Yasin Raheem, released this statement with CBS News: “ISIS had...

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The Top 10 Best Black Friday Deals

Black Friday

A 55″ flat screen TV from Walmart for only $98. A 17″ laptop from Best Buy for $149. An Xbox One from Target for the low price of $199. These are just a few of the top ten most compelling deals which have been announced for Black Friday, the...

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