Archive for month: January, 2016

Drug Kingpin ‘El Chapo’ Escapes From Mexican Prison Yet Again

El Chapo escapes again

Mexico City, Mexico — Early this morning, drug kingpin Joaquin ‘El Chapo’ Guzmán, head of the Sinaloa Cartel, escaped from the Altiplano maximum security prison once again. It is unclear at this point what exactly happened, but these are the details CBS News has received from Mexican officials so...

Continue reading

Donald Trump Announces Sheriff Joe Arpaio As Vice Presidential Running Mate

Trump picks Arpaio for Vice President

Yesterday, Sheriff Joe Arpaio officially endorsed Donald Trump for president. Today, Trump shocked the country by announcing Arpaio as his pick for Vice Presidential running mate in 2016. “I have great respect for Joe Arpaio,” Trump told reporters. “Like me, he understands that we must restore law and order...

Continue reading

Second $1.6 Billion Powerball Jackpot Winner Comes Forward

California Powerball Winner

Chino Hills, CA — This morning lottery officials were pleased to announce that the second of the three winners in Wednesday’s world record setting, $1.58 billion Powerball drawing, has come forward. That lucky person is 37-year-old Paul Horner from Chino Hills, California. Horner won by matching all five white...

Continue reading

Christian Anti-Masturbation’s Mascot “Fappy” Arrested For Public Masturbation While Swimming Naked With The Dolphins At Sea World In San Diego

Fappy arrested at Sea World in San Diego

San Diego, CA — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested today for masturbating in public. The mascot, along with his organization, Stop Masturbation Now, recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which they claim focused on educating...

Continue reading

$1.5 Billion Powerball Winner In California Comes Forward

California Powerball Winner

Chino Hills, CA — This morning lottery officials were pleased to announce that one of the three winners in last night’s world record setting, $1.5 billion Powerball drawing, has come forward. That lucky person is 37-year-old Paul Horner from Chino Hills, California. Horner won by matching all five white...

Continue reading

9Gag Sues Reddit For $20 Million For Libel & Damages

9Gag sues Reddit for $20 million

San Francisco, CA — The humor website 9Gag is suing Reddit for libel and damages in the amount of $20,000,000. That is a two with seven zeros attached to it. Tom Downey, Esq., 9Gag’s head attorney told CBS News the lawsuit is long over due and definitely winnable. “The...

Continue reading

Volkswagen Accused of Using Military Surplus Parts Allegedly From Nazi Germany

nazi hippie 1

Wolfsburg, Germany – Last September the EPA issued a citation to the Volkswagen car company for violating the US Clean Air Act. After an investigation the EPA found that Volkswagen had falsified emission tests and that their cars, during real world driving, were producing over 40 times the legal...

Continue reading

This Country Needs To Raise The Minimum Wage Before It Is Too Late

Raise the minimum wage

Yesterday I had to get a couple things and the only store open was Walmart. Pretty disgusting forcing your employees to work on New Year’s Day. Also I felt pretty disgusting going to Walmart and supporting Walmart. When I was checking out I talked to the cashier for a...

Continue reading

CONTACT US

We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Sending

Copyright 2016 | All Rights Reserved | Powered by HITTEKK | Proudly owned by CBS News President & CEO, Dr. Paul Horner. We need writers! Contact us! Looking to advertise? Contact us! All trademarks, service marks, trade names, trade dress, product names, images and logos appearing on the site are the property of their respective owners. | Do you have a complaint? We love to hear them! You can call our complaint department directly at (785) 273-0325 | Do you have a problem with self-rape? Are you looking to get off the Devil's playground? Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin can help! Praise Fappy!

Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details?