Archive for month: December, 2015

5 Members Of ISIS Arrested In Washington: Train Attack On The White House Foiled

ISIS terror plot to run train into Whitehouse

Washington, DC — Washington D.C. Police and Secret Service Agents arrested five members of ISIS today after thwarting a deadly train attack on the White House. D.C. Police Chief Tom Downey spoke with reporters about the failed terror plot. “We have arrested five members of an ISIS terror cell,...

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Christian Anti-Masturbation Mascot Sentenced To 8 Years For Public Masturbation

Fappy the Dolphin sentenced to eight years in prison

San Diego, CA — A mascot for a federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization was sentenced to eight years in federal prison after being convicted of assault on a police officer, molesting a dolphin, and public masturbation. This was the fourth arrest for public  in three years for 37-year-old Paul...

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Mall Sues Christmas Lighting Company For Obscene Penis Light Display

Obscene Christmas light display

DeQuincy, LA — A Holiday Lighting Company is under fire after their Christmas light display became X-rated, scarring shoppers and making mall owners furious. DeQuincy Mills Mall in DeQuincy, Louisiana claims their holiday lighting display was defaced with vulgar language and obscene images by a holiday lighting company they...

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Clinton: “Obama should allow twice the Muslim refugees”

Hillary Clinton wants to allow twice the Muslim refugees into America. Will this bode well for her?

CONCORD, NH While preparing for her appearance on the Democratic Party Debate, Clinton has given a bold statement to CBS News interviewers: She wishes to allow twice the Syrian refugees into America. This may have been intended to set her apart from competitor Bernie Sanders, who has not called...

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Donald Trump Calls to Shut Down the ‘ISIS Internet’

FILE - In this Aug. 6, 2015, file photo, Republican presidential candidates from left, Chris Christie, Marco Rubio, Ben Carson, Scott Walker, Donald Trump, Jeb Bush, Mike Huckabee, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and John Kasich take the stage for the first Republican presidential debate in Cleveland.  Eleven top-tier Republican presidential hopefuls face off in their second prime-time debate of the 2016 campaign Sept. 16, in a clash between outsiders and establishment candidates under a cathedral of political conservatism. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik, File)

Las Vegas, N.V. – During the latest GOP debate Donald Trump has called for the complete and total shut down of internet service for ISIS. The debate has largely focused on the threat of terrorism to the United States. As per usual, the most attention has been called to...

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Simon Malls to Introduce Muslim-Friendly Santas

Simon Malls plans to phase out the familiar jolly fat man with a new variety of Santas.

INDIANAPOLIS, IN The once beloved jolly, chubby old man with a white beard may become a memory of the past with Simon Property Group’s new plan to phase out traditional Santas and replace them with what they claim will be more receptive to other cultures. The new “Santas”can be...

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Antonin Scalia Declares ‘Racism is Over’

Scalia 1

Washington, D.C. – While overseeing a case involving Affirmative Action and its role in the college system, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia made some inflammatory comments about African Americans and their ability to perform well in college. According to CNN Scalia stated that black students belong in “lesser” or...

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Donald Trump’s Campaign Website Hacked – WARNING: Graphic Content

Donald Trump's Campaign Website Hacked - WARNING: Graphic Content

Washington, DC — Donald Trump’s presidential campaign website, DonaldJTrump.com, was hacked this morning and as of this press release the site is still showing an alternate version. That alternate version is a parody of a popular meme known as the Lemon Party. It is not clear what group or...

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Donald Trump Introduces ‘Nazi-Like’ Plan Requiring All Muslims & Refugees To Wear Badges

Donald Trump Muslim Refugee badges

Washington, DC — After calling for a ban on all Muslims attempting to enter the United States, the Republican presidential front-runner went one step further. During an interview today with Fox News, Donald Trump unveiled plans making it mandatory for all Muslim people and refugees currently residing in the...

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